Saturday, October 3, 2009

H.A.R.D. life

No one said life would be easy. I don't even want my life to be easy. If life was easy, then we'd never grow or be challenged to be better, right? But lately, life has been just plain hard. Dealing with frustrations, toddler temper tantrums, time management, child training, being pulled in too many different directions, sometimes my brain just can't handle it. This is just normal life stuff. Thankfully I am not dealing with anything harder than the normal "hard" stuff, but wow. There are days I think I might just have a nervous breakdown if one.more.thing.happens.

Why is anger so hard to control? I can get frustrated about something, and it usually builds until I have a little (or large) freak-out. Which isn't good period, but especially if you're trying to raise a little man---of whom you don't want to get your bad anger habits. I used to be a yeller. I would get so frustrated that all that felt good was to yell it out. And sometimes, I find myself reverting back to that.

I don't want to be a yeller anymore. As Ross and I were at Chick-Fil-A last Friday, Ross was in line (for the second time) getting us delicious milkshakes for desert. Jude and I were taking a walk outside, waiting on daddy to come give us our yummy treats. I saw an employee who had her 3 kids out there. They were getting ready to go, but had not left yet. I'm not sure why. But, the mom was so frustrated at her daughter for not putting on her shoe (yes, it was just a shoe incident, seems like a silly reason to be that mad), and her yelling escalated until she was screaming at her child to "GET YOUR SHOES ON, NOW!!!!!!" I'm sure that was good for business, since I'm sure all of the drive-thru line heard it. An older couple walked by this lady, and the woman said something to her, although I'm not sure what it was. It had to be a reprimand because the yelling mom immediately changed her tone and was a little more patient with her daughter. Yes, I felt bad for that family...really bad for those kids, but what I kept thinking was I so do not want to be that. Lord, please help me to be slow to anger and quick to gentleness.

Since then, I have been a little more patient. I am reminded that when Jude makes me want to pull my hair out, its not personal. He's not trying to make my life miserable (yet:). So, then I can talk to him a calm, loving voice and not I used to have a tendency of doing.

Life is still hard. But, I am dealing with it easier. I think its that little thing called grace that we are given so freely. Thanks to God for that. :)

With a post titled "Hard Life," there needs to be some cuteness to balance it out. Here's my boy, doing what he loves the most. Playing with the BALL!

This is an older one, but super cute nonetheless. I can't remember how old he was here.

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