Friday, August 28, 2009

Dearest Jude

My dear boy. I wanted to write you this letter because lately I have been thinking. About who you already are, and who you will become. About the little personality quirks of yours I love. About how just plain neat I think you are. And I want to tell you just that. Like how easily overjoyed you are over the simplest things. The ball, cold water splashed on you in the bath, seeing Daddy first thing in the morning. Seeing your face light up makes everything in me light up.

I am awed by your funny, outgoing personality. Your willingness to go up and talk to anyone. How you charm anyone and everyone walking by, even men who usually don't pay attention to other people's children. When we took you to see Grandma and Granddad in their new assisted living home, you weren't afraid to speak to everyone as we walked by. I was amazed. I was so scared of old people when I was young. I'm not sure why. But you don't discriminate. You love to talk to everyone, man, woman, child, old, young, doesn't matter to you. Not their age, sex or color. Everyone is the same, and worthy of love and attention.

I'm thinking of some of my favorite Jude-isms. The way you say "touchdown" and throw your arms up to call it. When you say "ball," it sounds more like "baawwwwwlll" (must be the South in ya). When you fake cough, just so you can cover your mouth like I ask you to. How you share your blanket with me and even say "thank you" when you hand it to us...or when you say it with anything you hand us. How sweet are your manners at such a young age!

Even the days that are hard. The days where for some reason, you just aren't that happy and nothing seems to help. Yes, I get frustrated, frazzled, am praying constantly and want to pass out on the couch by 5pm. But, those are the days that challenge me to be a better mom. Those are also the days I usually have the most regrets, but you help me to see the things I need to change, and for that, I am more grateful than you'll ever know.

You, my son, are a joy and a delight. I love you more and more each day and I can not wait to see the man you become. I have a feeling you will be someone I admire, someone I consider an honor to know. But, I can wait. :) I am content watching you grow and go through each new stage. They are all so fun!

Monday, August 10, 2009

So Much More

I want this blog to be so much more. To sit down and write out my thoughts, my feelings, my journey as a mom and wife. There is so much I'd love to include in this blog. Not just pictures, but sweet family moments. Sure, some things should be left private, but I want to let the world know how awesome I think my family is. And not just because I say, hey, my family is are a bunch of pics to prove it! Don't get me wrong, I love the pictures. Once I get a lens (yes, I am STILL on that), I will be taking pictures up a storm since I have photo editing software now. Of course I will want to show them off. However, the blogs I admire the most are the ones where the author is raw, real, authentic, and many times, fearless. They share about their lives, and not just the happy parts. The scary parts, the sad parts, the fearful parts, the parts we don't want anyone to see. Those people touch me and inspire me in a way that makes me want to touch and inspire others. Mostly their words, but their photos do too. And so, I want this to be more. But time always seems to be a factor. There is never enough time to do all the things I'd like to do. Life is not about pleasure and doing all the things I want, I know, but it still would be nice. To inspire people. Maybe I will try to make the time to do the things that matter, and forget the things that don't. Or maybe I will continue to not have enough time to do all the things I'd like. Hopefully the former will take place. We shall see.

Maybe stay posted for some more in depth posts? I hope so!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Everyone needs a little Hey Jude

As I sat down to rock Jude a little before his nap, I found that instead of settling down, he wanted to play. This happens a lot. Usually I just go ahead and lay him down and let him play in his bed a bit before going off to sleep. This time, I thought I'd sing him a little tune. I started with the infamous "Hey Jude, "...I know, original, right?? I started singing and when I was done with the first line, Jude had already laid his head down on my chest, thumb in his mouth, all the while watching me as I sang. So sweet. Of course I was loving it. But, after a few bars, he was tired of that (of course), so he sat back up and wanted to play again. So, when I got to the na-nas at the end of the song, he started laughing! He thought my na-nas were funny, which of course cracked me up too. Then I just ended up dancing around his room while singing the na-nas. He loved it! Just another thing I wish I had caught on video. Life is so much fun with this little guy. I just love being his mama!