Pictures galore

Who says you don't say as many pics of your second kid? We have gotten photos of everyone with Ezra who has come over, Jude and anyone else who gets in there. I haven't had time to edit them though, so the color is bad in some of them. Oh well! Here they are, nonetheless. Love my family!

Birthday boy!

2 years ago today, my life changed forever. I was entering the unknown. I had given birth to this new little person, a person God gave specifically to me, and I was terrified. I had no idea what to do, how to take care of him...I didn't even know him yet. But, here he was. Here for us to love and raise.

He might have been considered an "accident." Although, I don't believe in accidents. He definitely wasn't planned, that's for sure. He was loved all the same. It took some adjustment, but we ironed out the kinks. We're still ironing out the kinks.

This parenting thing sure is a challenge, but its one of the greatest jobs on earth. I am enjoying it more than I could ever imagine. I didn't think I'd ever have kids. I sure am glad I did.

*Jude when he was just hours old*

The day of Jude's party...we had a little bubble action.

Some cake...mmm, spiderman cake!

A few gifts...
Playing with the gifts! His favorite gift...his spiderman bike!

Happy birthday, my son, my first born. You are truly one of a kind. Your personality is so darn cute and I have loved watching you become your own person. I thank God that He gave you to us and I look forward to watching you grow into the man He wants you to be. Thanks for being you, for making us laugh and showing us how to love like God loves. You are loved more than you know.

Bring on the pics

Oh, I have so many pictures I want to upload of the boys and of family with the boys. I've gotten some really good photos. It'll take me awhile to edit them and get them on here. But for now, I got a few really sweet ones I wanted to share.

Finally got one of Jude kissing his brother. Yay!

Jude giving Ezra a high five!
Our family of 4! Fergus Family Four!

Random Thoughts and Updates

I needed to get out of the house. My church did a free childcare deal for Valentines night, so Ross and I took Jude there and we ventured out for dinner and bookstore fun with the baby. It was a good time. We forgot what it was like to go to dinner and it be quiet. Not to have a talking, grabbing, irritated-with-sitting toddler was strange. Ezra slept the whole time in his car seat. We saw some friends. I read a good magazine. It was good to get out. Of course, I was hurting the next day, but it was worth it.

Things are going really well. Ezra is sleeping some at night (not enough, though!), so I am not too exhausted. Jude is adjusting and accepting his little brother more than I expected. I am recovering much better this time, which is nice. Things are all in all much better this time around. I am thoroughly enjoying our new little addition, and I feel much more laid back this time. I am having some post partum weepiness, but its really not been too bad. Ross has been great. Such a great dad and a big help. My family and friends have been amazing too, I seriously don't know what I'd do without them. I have felt so loved, and I have appreciated everything they've done for us...more than they know. Thanks, guys!

Special Delivery

It was 11:00pm. I had not been feeling well since we were at a Super Bowl party earlier that evening. I thought, I'll just lay down, this will pass. Being pregnant means feeling weird pretty much all the time. So, I laid down. Then I felt worse. And then worse. After I was through being sick, I thought, not again. I caught a stomach bug when I was very, very pregnant with Jude. Like, almost-due-pregnant. It was horrible. But, I suffered through it like you do everything else. You can imagine what I dreading as I got sick. Another almost-due-pregnant stomach bug. Yay fun.

And then the contractions began.

They were mild at first. No big deal. I've been having contractions off and on for weeks now. As they grew in intensity (and in regularity), I couldn't help but think is this it??? Is this the thing most women talk about, but I have never had the pleasure of experiencing? (huge dose of sarcasm here at the word pleasure).

After an hour of not so nice bathroom visits, throwing up, and super regular contractions (every 2-5 minutes apart--and did I mention that they HURT???), Ross called the on-call OB number. They told him to bring me in to the hospital for monitoring and replenishing of fluids.

By the time we call our sweet friend to come over to be with Jude and get to the hospital, I am doubled over in pain. Really? I think. This is crazy. I am supposed to have baby Ezra in 4 days. But here he is, threatening to come early and throw all of our plans off. I'm sitting on the hospital bed, the nurses are trying to hook me up to an IV, and I'm puking in a trash can. (oh yes, and Ross was sick too...very sick).

The nurses tell me they'll do the c-section in the morning even though they had stopped the labor. I didn't know what to think about that. In 12 hours, I will unexpectedly get to hold my baby??? The thought was fleeting as they pumped me so full of drugs that I was totally incoherent.

The next morning, my coherency rose, I was better. I still wasn't feeling all that great, but I was feeling better. My doctor came in to tell me she wasn't going to do the c-section because I had been sick and surgery + sickness is not a good combination. So we call our families to tell them "no baby today!" and we were all bummed. They said they'd keep me at least for the day to monitor and get more fluids in me.

However, God (and Ezra) had another plan.

The contractions started again. And they got bad quick. I was so miserable, in my head I was begging for them to take me back and birth my baby. Through one really bad (and long) contraction, Ezra's heartbeat dropped pretty low, and for a long time. That little event made the decision for the doctors. I guess the risk of little E's health was greater than mine...which I am certainly glad. They took me back, gave me a spinal block, and all was right with the world. No more contractions. No more pain. No more feeling anything. Yes, the room was cold, and I felt a little patronized as the anesthesiologist asked me if I was alright a billion times, but I couldn't feel a thing and we were on the way to holding our sweet Ezra that we've dreamed about and prayed over for the past 9 months.

But with his first cry, I knew it was all worth it. Tears slid down my face and I thought, I hear him! He is here and he is ok. All the complaining, all the pain was worth it. How sweet that first cry was. I will never forget it.

You see, I think I may have jinxed myself. When I was pregnant with Jude and found out I'd be having a planned c-section, I cried......a lot. I mourned the fact that there would be no excitement, no "its time to go to the hospital!" moment. The whole birthing experience was all planned out and I felt that somehow that took all the magic out of it. Of course, once he came, I didn't give a rip about any of that. I was just glad he was here and healthy. So, I think that since I had an un-magical birthing experience (at least in my opinion) the first time, God decided to give me something a little different this second time. This birthing experience should have been the same as the first. Un-magical and all planned out. But, it wasn't. Far from it. I'm not sure I liked it, because, well frankly, labor hurts. And I didn't even have my camera!

I even got to have my exciting "its time to go to the hospital" moment.

Now our sweet family of four!

7 days

I love these guys. The highlight of my day is when Ross comes home, Jude squeals "daddy!" and they immediately start playing, as though they have been playing all day. Not that Ross has been gone for 8 hours and there's some sort of reintroduction, it seems as though daddy was always here and the game never ends, whatever it is. They pick up where they left off and they are in their own little play-world that mommy is rarely ever a part of. But, it doesn't make me sad. I actually secretly love it. I love to watch them. It makes me all giddy and warm inside to have such a family, to be a part of something so sweet and pure. And I am feeling even more blessed to be adding to that sweetness.

In 7 days.

In 7 days, my life will change. I will be the most exhausted I've ever been, hormonal and in pain, but I will cherish it. I didn't cherish that beginning time with Jude because I wasn't in a good place. I didn't know what to expect and it.was.hard. However, this time, I will choose joy. I will choose to cherish it. Just like tonight. I looked at my belly, which has surprised me with tons of little (BIG) red stretch marks. I have been upset about this for weeks since Jude brought me none of that. But tonight, I chose to look at them and appreciate them. To know that they're there because God has blessed me with not just one great pregnancy and little boy, but 2.

How sweet it is.

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little Ezra. Its weird, though. Thinking about our family as it is now, and how different its going to be. I'm up for the challenge. And I'm ready to experience the joy of a house full of obnoxious little boys! :)